2.15.2018

Why I Keep My Relationship Private (For the Most Part)

Why I Keep My Relationship Private (For the Most Part) by popular New York blogger Covering the Bases

This is part of my "long form posts week" and it's actually an idea I had forever ago to write. Is it something I think you guys are interested in? Maybe! Is it something I think needs to be covered? Not really. So why am I writing it? Because I feel like it, OK?! Whats with all the questions??? All joking aside, I hope you guys like this post. Not sure where I'm going with it but here we go! 

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Why I Keep My Relationship Private (For the Most Part) by popular New York blogger Covering the Bases
Why I Keep My Relationship Private (For the Most Part) by popular New York blogger Covering the Bases
Why I Keep My Relationship Private (For the Most Part) by popular New York blogger Covering the Bases
Why I Keep My Relationship Private (For the Most Part) by popular New York blogger Covering the Bases
Why I Keep My Relationship Private (For the Most Part) by popular New York blogger Covering the Bases
Why I Keep My Relationship Private (For the Most Part) by popular New York blogger Covering the Bases
Why I Keep My Relationship Private (For the Most Part) by popular New York blogger Covering the Bases
Why I Keep My Relationship Private (For the Most Part) by popular New York blogger Covering the Bases
Why I Keep My Relationship Private (For the Most Part) by popular New York blogger Covering the Bases
LL Bean: Fleece Pullover Burberry: Ashurst Quilted Jacket Alo: High-Waist Motto Leggings / Vince: Blair Slip-on Sneakers / Givenchy: Mini Antigonia Bag BaubleBar: Mini Monogam Necklace David Yurman: Pearl Earrings Apple: Apple Watch (review) / Sarah Chloe: Monogram Pinky Signet Ring

Before we hop into today's post I wanted to say a big thank you to everyone reading. The blogging world is a strange place because we open up ourselves and our lives so much and kind of just hope it's well received. We overshare and bring you into our day-to-day lives but also expect a decent amount of privacy.

I've heard some true horror stories when it comes to an invasion of a blogger's privacy --- like sharing addresses online, tracking down a private boyfriend, inviting themselves to the blogger's wedding -- really crazy things. People can also be nosy.

But for myself, I've really only had one or two incidents where I have truly felt uncomfortable (readers wanting to know more than I wanted to share) and over the past five years, I think that's a pretty great track record.

I feel like we (you reading this, and I) have a really strong and healthy relationship. I share a ton of things, am always 100% real and for the most part am an open book. With that, the respect for the privacy of my life has been upheld on your end. For that I am so immensely grateful.

I'm also really happy you guys don't pressure me when it comes to Andrew. I am able to share things here or there about us and our life together but I find you rarely ever pry into our relationship more and ask "when are you doing this..." or "why did you do this..."

So for longtime readers, you know that I have a boyfriend (I assume at this point most everyone knows) and we've been dating since 2013. Andrew was on my Instagram 7 times in 2017 (three of which we're promoting the same post) and only on the blog twice. So that's what I call keeping the relationship private (for the most part).

I wanted to talk about why I do this and maybe share a little more about my thought process and life with you guys. It was something I made a conscious decision about when we first started dating and has for the most part carried over through the years. My reasoning below:

1. You Could Break Up -- This was always my biggest worry in the beginning. It always seemed like a big cloud of doom if I showed him all the time and then we happened to break up. Not only would I have to deal with it on the personal side but I'd have to share it publicly since our relationship was already out online (and I would feel I owed an explanation to you all). That just seemed so difficult for me. Break ups are TOUGH and I could not imagine breaking up with someone and having thousands of people weigh in on the situation that was already so hard.  

2. He didn't sign up for it -- This goes for Andrew as well as just about everyone in my family and friends. None of them signed up to be on this blog or to share their lives publicly. Maybe one day they will and that will be a different story, but until then I think it's part of my duty to share my life and my experiences and no one else's. 

3. People Start to Assume -- I love to hear feedback from readers and LOVE connecting with you guys because you're smart and supportive but there are people out there (get ready for a huge shock) that aren't. People out there want to drag you down and take a hammer to your happiness. They (I think) project their issues onto others and with that start to assume things about myself, my boyfriend and my relationship (also a lot of other stuff, but we're keeping it relevant). And if I could live without it, I will. And I do. 

4. The Privacy Factor -- When it comes to blogging, there are very little things we don't share -- I mean that is the point of blogging. Knowing that, privacy becomes a catch-22. I share my life, but want my privacy. It's hard to explain without truly dealing with it but we as bloggers forego parts of our lives but also have the amazing option to pick what we chose to share. Think about celebrities. They don't get to pick and choose. I have simply made a conscious effort to not share everything about our relationship!

5. I Don't Need Validation -- Social media is just one big comparison game and I'm not about that life! I don't like to compare myself to others and I don't like others comparing themselves to me. Instagram especially is one big highlight reel. It's not reality. I don't need to feel happy in my life or validated in my relationship with likes and comments. Not saying that there are people out there do, but it can be a confidence booster for some. I already think my relationship is pretty great and the last thing I need to feel secure is someone commenting #goals. I worry that others can get caught up with how they are perceived and liked and forget or neglect what's going on in real life. That's where relationships flounder!

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None of this is a hard and fast rule: no boyfriend online. I mean you can catch him in most of my vlogs -- I'm just talking about why I don't really share that much about Andrew on the blog explicitly! All of this could change in six months but this is where I'm at now. Hope you liked the post!
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