2.08.2018

6 Month Update Living With My Boyfriend


Technically February is 7 months but we're counting it as 6! I've gotten a lot of questions about advice or how it's been living with Andrew so I wanted to sit us both down and talk to you about it today. Hope you enjoy!

First want to start out by saying Andrew and I have not read the other person's response/know what the other wrote until this post goes live. I gave us a format to fill out and thought it would be more fun this way! It worked because I made a lot of extra space below so when he wrote he couldn't see mine and when I wrote I couldn't see his. Right before I hit publish I'll delete the space and read it with you guys for the first time!

From Krista:
My Favorite Thing About Living with Andrew: That he takes care of me. I think his love language is doing things for others and that's what he does. He cooks, cleans, wakes me up in the morning, keeps me acting like an adult ... things like that. He is just so responsible with everything (I feel like I'm still learning) and I love him for it.

--What you think the other person is going to say: How funny I am! (I hope lol) One of my favorite things to do is make him laugh and I think I do a pretty good job at it. He has this laugh that doesn't come out around other people often, but when it happens it's so pure and unaffected by the world (if that makes sense) that it makes my heart grow. 

My Least Favorite Thing About Living with Andrew: The noises he makes. He can just be so noisy it drives me cray cray.

--What you think the other person is going to say: Probably how messy I am. Clothes and shoes everywhere! I just have so much STUFF that I really do try and clean out every couple of months. But with the blog it accumulates, and then on the weekends when we shoot, the apartment explodes. Then the work week hits and I get too busy with actual work, then the blog after work ... on top of working out, reading, eating and catching up on our shows. I really need to be better about being cleaner!

What Were Your Worries Before Moving In?
1. That it wasn't going to work. You always hear about how living with someone "changes everything" and about how hard it is on a relationship. You never want that for a relationship so that I think scared me the most. What if this didn't work for us?
Spoiler Alert: It's working really well for us!

2. That I would be territorial of my space. Before Andrew moved in I was living alone for the past seven (?) years and I loved it SO much. Living alone was one of the best things I could have done coming into adulthood. But with that, I thought the transition of living with someone else (especially a boy) would be too hard or too extreme of a change.
Spoiler Alert: I'm not at all. What is mine is his and vice versa.

3. Not having enough "me time." Living alone was always my chance to relax and veg out and just be with myself. I was worried that without that I would turn into this mean crazy person and constantly be annoyed with being around someone else so much (I was a big introvert after work). Andrew is also so active I was scared he was going to take my veg out time and make me do stuff (lol).
Spoiler Alert: I didn't need as much "me time" as I thought to be balanced and happy and he does like to do stuff but I enjoy it AND we still find time to veg.

What You Least Expected to Happen: How much I depend on him being around. When he's gone I get so bored and I'm like, "what do I do without him?" Not that I'm totally dependent on him, but I feel like I'm missing my best friend, my alarm clock, my chef and my TV buddy. And I knew that living together would either make or break us but I wasn't expecting us to become SO much more in love. It's like you think you love the other person to the max already but it just keeps growing more everyday. 

Advice to Others:
1. Talk about it to death: I think the more you talk about it and talk about every little thing, the better it will be. It's a big decision to move in with your significant other. You need to make sure your short- and long-term priorities line up, that you're doing it for the right reasons and that the element of surprise is limited. I personally follow the rule of talking about everything and anything. I believe the world's biggest problems can be solved with good communication.

2. Figure out bills: Money is an awkward subject for everyone. But it's something that you need to talk about before moving in together. Make sure you cover how you are going to pay for things, who takes care of what, how you will divide shared items, etc. Have a set plan and stick to it. If you find it isn't working, talk about it. See what works best. Right now we split rent down the middle and I pay the TV + internet and ConEd bills and Andrew buys groceries. It's what works for us!

3. Go in with an open mind: There are things you need to compromise on and somethings that are just not worth the fight. I don't want to say go in with zero expectations but go in with an open and happy mind. Look on the bright side, pick your battles, talk more ... things like that. This is going to be new for both of you!

4. Take a monthly audit: Goes back to the communication above but take time once a month and talk about everything. Your frustrations, what you enjoy/love about them, one thing you'd like them to be focused on, your thoughts, your feelings ... anything! Just talk. Sit down and make it a real conversation and just talk!


Overall Thoughts: I love living with Andrew. I think it's been a blast and has exceeded all of my wildest expectations. It just solidifies my thoughts about him and I can't wait to see what the future holds for us!

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From Andrew:
My Favorite Thing About Living with Krista: There is a lot to choose from here, but my absolute favorite thing about living with Krista is how often she makes me laugh. I'm not shy about admitting that I'm a happier person when I'm with Krista, and the fact that we spend more time together makes me even happier. We have the same strange sense of humor and there is no shortage of laughter.

--What you think the other person is going to say: I think Krista will say that she most enjoys how much I pitch in around the apartment or, in other words, how responsible I am. This would include cleaning Dixie's litter box daily, taking out the trash, cooking, doing dishes, cleaning floors, and grocery shopping among other things. 

My Least Favorite Thing About Living with Krista: This is a tough one, and not just because I know she's going to read this. I'll say my least favorite part is that she uses every square foot of the apartment as one big shelf. The dinner table sometimes doubles as a shoe shelf. The top of toilet stores makeup and some other unmentionables. The bedroom floor ... well, you get the idea. She's messy. She would admit that. I'm learning to accept it and we make an effort to organize weekly. 

--What you think the other person is going to say: How do I put this? I can be noisy. This is my first time with a roommate since college and I've had to readjust to the idea of shared space. 

What Were Your Worries Before Moving In?
1. I didn't have any. I'm not saying that to sound cool, I just honestly wasn't worried about it. In fact, a few days before I moved in, Krista got mad at me because she thought I wasn't taking the move seriously enough. She was anxious -- and rightly so -- because this is a big step, but I'm not the worrying type. I had zero reservations. In my mind, I was already moved in. Six months later, I still know it was the right decision, I'm still not anxious, and the transition period was pretty short.

What You Least Expected to Happen: I least expected to become a cat person. Let me be clear, if I had to choose between cats and dogs, I'd take dogs eleven times out of ten. However, Dixie and I are best buds and have been for the last four years or so. Being with her every day has made me respect and appreciate cats more than I ever did, which is to say I never did.

Side note, I refer to Krista as an "indoor cat." So I have two cats with a combined three eyes. It's the best.

Advice to Others:
1. Absolutely do NOT move in together unless you have given it long, serious thought and are fully committed to each other. As I said earlier, I had no hesitations about moving in. I had mentally prepared for the move for a long time prior, so the transitions was easy.

2. Related to the first point, go on vacation for more than a weekend and pretend you are living together. Krista and I travel a lot and I'm a fan of AirBnB, so when we would go away, we were getting a true taste of what it would be like to live with one another. The unfamiliarity of the living space (it's not your place and it's not your partners) and the need to be self-sufficient is like training wheels for an impending move.

3. Decide what really, truly bothers you and what you can learn to live with. You will find out that you are bothered by some things that you hadn't given thought to before. For example, on days when Krista and I shoot blog photos, she uses the hair dryer and then leaves it in the sink. It drives me crazy, but I know it's not worth making a fuss over. Instead, it's a simple request. Another example is that the alarm on my phone in mornings is Frank Sinatra's "Summer Wind." The first few notes of the song aren't the most soothing, but I like waking up to it. Krista hates it. She HATES it. But again, does it really matter? No, probably not. So she has learned to live with it and it's not an issue any more.

4. Make sure you still make room in your life for yourself. I play baseball in the summer. Sometimes that means late nights and doubleheaders on Saturdays. I will never stop playing and Krista knows that, so she gives me space and lets me do my thing. Conversely, I know Krista likes to shoot her YouTube videos while alone in the apartment. I have no problem with that, and I find a way to be busy during that time.


Overall Thoughts: I'm agnostic about living in Manhattan, but I love living with Krista. I knew it was the right move, and I've never thought twice about it. I hope this was of some help.

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