Saying Hey

Time sure does fly when you're taking a break. But I wanted to do a quick check-in just to say hey and chat with you guys! Also, side note, do you like my cool new hat? I took this photo today and thought it would be just dumb mysterious enough to go along with today's post.

I definitely did not mean to suddenly go dark on here. I didn't even realize that it's been over two weeks since my last post! Obviously I knew that I wasn't posting, but my sense of time is easily warped. So where have I been? What have I been up to? 

Short answer: not much. Long answer: this post.

I first took some time away from the blog because I was gearing up for another launch over on Penny Linn Designs. Launches seem to take over my days and nights in preparation. There is so much manual labor that goes into it. There are little, tedious things (that I love) but take forever like counting thread. It definitely gives me an appreciation for fellow designers, stores, and really all small businesses out there. In short, I'm still figuring out how to balance both on my own.

So that's where this pause started. Then I really enjoyed the freedom of not forcing myself to sit down to write a blog post each day. The way my brain works (I believe it's due to my ADHD) is that I don't have the motivation to do a lot of things until the last minute. It's how I worked in college and how I've always written the blog. It was usually at 1am as I scramble to throw some posts together. 

It was better before when I was shooting fashion outfit photos because we would knock those out  (3-5 outfits at a time) all in one day, and then I'd have photos to pull and post for blog posts. There is nothing easier than linking some items and calling it a day. But I stopped those around this time last year, and truthfully haven't missed them. The thought of doing that seems so draining to me. But so does writing a blog post so...

The thing is I love to write. I always have. The way I write is the way I talk and I enjoy spilling my thoughts onto paper (or in this case, the internet). I really enjoy the community we've built together and the friendships I've made with people all over the world through this blog. But I found that my time was better spent elsewhere, specifically on Instagram. Which is so weird, even to me, because I swore I would never become "just an Instagrammer" but that's what I've been for the last few weeks. 

I love Instagram right now because of stories. I love being able to throw something up and connect with you directly. I love chatting and sharing and the immediacy of it all gives my brain that special feeling that I don't get with the blog. Here, I feel like I'm just talking into the ether.

And the blog is a lot more work than Instagram. It's a lot more work than people probably realize, and the little reward I was getting from it (feedback, community, response, commission) made me want to stop all together. I won't, but for a week it felt like the thing I really wanted to do.

Then I started hearing from you guys via email and comments, asking where I was and I honestly was surprised anyone missed me. Is that so dumb to say out loud? Friends asking the same. I don't know, I guess I was just surprised that anyone other than myself realized I stopped posting. And it made me sad. In a weird way, I felt like I was letting down those who asked. And not to play the "woe is me" card, but I guess I had, in my mind, the thought that no one would miss the blog if it was gone.

But I started to miss it and I think that's the most important part. I missed the permanency of content. Where I could share something and refer back to it when needed. I missed writing to connect and talk with you all. I missed writing to clear my mind and share my thoughts on a little corner of the internet. I missed being able to write really dumb, long, endless, and confusing posts like this where it's just a stream of consciousness pouring from my fingers. 

So I'm back. 

I think the plan (as to not deal with burnout) is to aim for three posts a week on M/W/F. More is great, but I'm setting the bar low. I want to bring you better quality of content, but also give my brain the satisfying scratch of pointless rambling blog posts like these. 

Thank you for reading this, for reading any post ever, for still coming back each day to read what I have to say that day. Apologies for ghosting you. Now it's 2am, I have a workout early in the morning and Dixie is currently crying under the door frame trying to get into my office after I kicked her out for being a lunatic. 

Hope this post wasn't too much of a mess. A state secret is that I write as a steady stream of conscience and just press post. If you get here before 9am ET or so -- when Andrew comes to proof read this post for the first time -- you'll see the true inner workings of my brain before my editor comes and makes it all more presentable. 

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